Lockdown Diaries: Part 2
If you haven’t read Part One, you can read it here: https://www.quirkandfolly.com/2020/04/lockdown-diaries-1/
A couple of months ago, I wrote a little update on where we’d got to with…The Covid Situation, and a few things I’d been up to. It has been four months (where has the time gone?!) so I thought I’d do another post and share some of the things I’ve been doing to while away the lonely days. There is quite a lot of dog-related content here, so…sorry, not sorry.
Where are we now?
I should start by summarising where we are now: the rules have been relaxed, so we can now go out and enjoy exercise and dog walking and shopping as normal – just with mandatory masks in public places and a largely unpoliced social distancing of 2m. The beginning of July saw major shops reopen, and mid-July my social media was bursting with pictures of fresh haircuts and shopping bags. Pubs have now reopened. People are in many ways acting as if the threat is over – but there are still thousands of people contracting COVID-19 every day. People are still dying.
Back in May, when lockdown was in full swing and the country took things seriously, it was reported that Dominic Cummings – PM Boris Johnson’s non-elected personal aide – took a trip to Durham in his car, when all unnecessary journeys were illegal. He also took a trip to Barnard Castle on his wife’s birthday, supposedly to ‘test his eyesight’ before his return back to London. The internet exploded with memes, TripAdvisor saw some cracking reviews added, and the country began to fall apart. Trust in the government in their handling of the crisis fell apart as soon as this news broke. Lockdown fell to pieces. Inexplicably, Cummings kept his job.
It took until about July for masks to become commonplace. Now, most people are wearing them on public transport, and about half in shops. Yes, they are compulsory still. No, it isn’t being enforced. Yes, some people don’t believe in wearing masks, or even believe that they could die from contracting coronavirus. I personally have a collection of four masks, meaning I have clean ones for two journeys there and back. I wonder whether masks will be here to stay, or just a temporary 2020s phenomenon. I imagine textbooks in 200 years time will call out ‘mask fashion’, just like we do now with the famous beaked costumes worn at the time of the plague.
The reason I don’t really venture outside and haven’t embraced normality is mainly fear. And comfort. I am enjoying my own space, and my anxiety is enjoying not being around crowds or making small talk. My fear is driven by the tests done on survivors of COVID-19 – evidence of brain diseases, ongoing lung and heart problems. It’s terrifying that this disease is so unknown, and increasingly causing the strangest and most worrying of symptoms. It’s weird just how fine I feel at home, but on edge I am the second I leave my flat.
Either way, it’s still an unfolding situation. We have mass unemployment – a swathe of redundancies across the country from companies that can’t afford to hold onto people anymore. My company is doing the same; we’ve exhausted voluntary redundancy and now we’re looking at compulsory redundancies. It’s a scary time, and this is something that is impacting everyone whether directly or indirectly.
I’ll be interested to see where we are in six months or so. For now, here’s a round-up of what I’ve been up to in the past few months.
It was my birthday.
Having a birthday during a time like this was really quite something. I’m not exactly saying I’d recommend it – but as a bit of an introverted soul, it was wonderful to sit outside in the shade with a cup of coffee and enjoy some peace and quiet. I was thoroughly spoiled – from an appropriate distance – by the very best people in the world, and a huge thank you to everyone who sent me presents and cards which made it feel a lot less lonely. A big shout out to the knitted dragon kit that I will be using to create myself a new best pal to keep me company until I feel safe enough to gather will fellow humans again. And whoever paid the weather fairies to deliver 23 degree sunshine on my birthday is the real hero – I can’t remember a birthday where it wasn’t raining.
It ended up turning into a bit of a birthday week, and there were zero complaints from me. On the Tuesday after my birthday, a delicious red velvet cake arrived at my doorstep, a gift from some truly lovely friends, and on the Wednesday a pair of brooches arrived from Oh So Flamingo – custom designs of my two boys, a present from the amazing Lottie. I could cry with how spoiled I’ve been, thank you to every person who thought of me, sent me a little message, sent the beautiful weather. I’m very lucky to have the friends I have.
The boys struggled a bit.
I had a terrifying moment back in May where the dogs full-on launched themselves at another dog in the building. The other dog was absolutely fine – no teeth involved – but it was a bit scary for everyone there. My boys are a bit fearful-reactive, and thanks to the lockdown conditions they have become a little more fearful-aggressive, meaning that they bark at literally everything. Air, a car with a loud exhaust, someone laughing outside the window. People they can tolerate, once warmed up, but other dogs are a real cause for concern for them.
My normal training techniques didn’t come in handy either, because to be effective I needed to train them separately – but thanks to the law back in May, I was limited to taking them out on a walk just once a day, so I couldn’t take them out independently in order to try and help them adjust. They could tell the situation was a bit strange, and there wasn’t a lot I could do to help.
Even now that things are relaxed and I can take them out more, we still avoid other people. And I’m working from home – the last time I worked in the office was the middle of March. It’s going to be a huge shock to both lads when I’m not at home 24/7 and I just know that the separation anxiety is going to be at a whole new level. And let’s be honest – some of that separation anxiety comes from me too, because I’m so used to having a little warm lump in my lap or at my feet that I don’t know how the heck I’m going to cope when I’m apart from them for longer than an hour.
At least now I can undo some of the lockdown damage and resume normal training. Bear has sprung back quite quickly but Iggy is still pretty fearful, very clingy, and has suddenly become really bad on the lead. I let him off a bit because he’s old, but really I do need to be a bit firmer with him. But…he’s very cute. How can I be firm with such a cute little face?
The weather has been a m a z i n g.
I’m going to talk about the weather some more. April was uncharacteristically warm, May and June were averagely warm, and I absolutely loved it. I feel happier, my mood is lifting, it’s light until about half 8 in the evenings, and I feel like I have my days back. The dreary dark winter days feel long gone now.Thanks to my recent balcony renovation, and some new furniture, I’ve been able to enjoy being outside a little more.
Saying that, the weather the past two weeks has been absolutely bonkers, and it was a sweaty 37 degrees celsius last week – it hasn’t been a high of less than 31 in well over a week now. It’s so hot that I have been pulling down the blinds, closing all the doors and windows, and have my fan on full all day.
I can’t wait until it’s cooled a little again to take my laptop or a book outside and have a cup of coffee to the sound of birdsong. It looks like thunderstorms and rain are forecast for the next couple of weeks, so I might be waiting until September. But it’ll be worth it, I’m sure.
Working from home.
Although I’ve been a remote worker for three years now, something seems to have shifted in the past few months. Maybe because everyone else is doing it too, I feel less anxious and worried about missing out on things, and I’ve definitely noticed fewer passive aggressive comments from people about being in the office in person. I really hope that there is a wider shift and people now recognise that home working is a real possibility with a lot of benefits.
As I’m feeling less anxious, I feel more able to get up, get the boys walked, make a coffee, unload the dishwasher. (Yes, I know these are very normal things, but my depression and anxiety can make it really hard for me to find the energy to do all of these. Sometimes just getting out of bed is the best I can do.) At the moment, my day feels strangely structured in a way it hasn’t before. I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t about work itself, and whether it’s to do with the shift in social events and invites out – I can get into a routine with myself without worrying about it being thrown off. I also wonder if there’s a part of this internal comparison of me and others, which is limited because everyone else has had to slow down and they are unable to do the things that I’d subconsciously compare myself to. Something to ponder a bit, I reckon.
It also feels like I no longer have to worry about declining to go to things. My mental health can make me inconsistent, and I’m much better at spontaneity than planned things; I work myself up into a tizz about what I’m going to wear, or whether things fit me, or the big pimple on my chin and whether people will notice. Not so much to worry about when it’s all online. Zoom calls and lighting can hide a multitude of sins, and that ability to turn off video? Heck yes.
I finally hit 30k!
It finally arrived, the day I’ve been waiting for. The day I hit 30k. I have a small fascination with round numbers, and it was a huge celebration for my numbers obsession when my unread emails on my iPhone finally hit 30,000. If you’re an inbox zero kinda person, you might want to move on at this point. If you’re an unread email kinda person, then we should have a chat. It all started when spam emails just didn’t want to delete on my iPhone, and since then, it’s just multiplied. I reckon about 80% of those emails are spam, or unread newsletters. I go by the theory that if someone REALLY wants to get in touch…they’ll just call.
Email bombardment.
Talking of emails, I had a cracker of one the other day. Someone emailed me one of those marketing emails – and at the end accidentally signed off with MY name instead of theirs. I enjoyed replying to that one. Is it just me or have spammy emails just increased tenfold? I’m getting so many of these personalised emails pushing services or products that are unrelated to what I do. And the worst thing? They all sign off like a Jane Austen novel – “I hope you and your family are well”. I wonder how many actually do wonder if my family are well? Maybe I should start replying with a breakdown on the various illnesses and diseases my family are experiencing at the moment and see what they say.
It feels like someone needs to make email bingo. Just fill it with phrases like “during this difficult time”, “hope you are coping okay”, “in these uncertain times”, “we wanted to update you with our plans regarding [enter unimportant project or business] in light of COVID-19” “just to let you know that we are still open for business” “take care in these strange times” and when you get a full house you drink a shot. Although make it a shot of water, because if your inbox is anything like mine, you’ll be taking shots by the minute.
Weird dreams.
My dreams are getting quite vivid at the moment – and from reading around, it looks like I’m not the only one. Why are we all dreaming so much at the moment? I had a dream the other day about a quiet village called East Thamesmead that I had entirely created in my head – tree-lined streets, a little brook, large hedges lining the roads, even a little ‘Welcome to East Thamesmead’ sign. When I woke up, I checked on Google Maps – and it doesn’t exist. It sounds real though, right?
I had another dream where I was on a bus and was dropped off in the middle of a town, but I needed a lift from someone and my phone was on 1% battery AND kept autocorrecting their name to a completely different word. And I had another dream where someone I know turned into Ed Sheeran. I’m not even going to begin trying to analyse that one.
Trying out alternative delivery services.
Before the UK officially went into lockdown, I had booked a Tesco delivery slot as I normally do, a few weeks in advance. So my first supermarket delivery during lockdown was that one – 31 March. Then, until about mid-June, I wasn’t able to book one single delivery slot to my flat in east London from any of the major supermarkets.
At this point it was Peak Lockdown; we were only allowed to leave our homes once a day and I was using that as an opportunity to walk my dogs. Concerned about my health and the rapid spread of the virus in Tower Hamlets, I didn’t really want to go to the shops in person. This was before masks were mandatory – and commonplace.
Not to worry though, because between you and me, I found a few places within the M25 that deliver groceries so I could still get my essentials in! I’ve tried a few alternatives to the supermarkets so far, all of which are excellent.
So for fellow Londoners, listen up.
Lolas. Yes, the cupcake place. And yes, they deliver all the basics – veggies, fruit, milk, eggs, cheese. If you need fresh produce then I heartily recommend them for speedy service and excellent food! They’ve done such a great job of surviving by pivoting their business to support those who can’t get their supplies in when they need.
Another is Wolf and Lamb. More expensive, but they normally supply high end restaurants so their food is great quality. I bought a £20 box of veg and it’s so large and generously packed I think it’s going to last me for a few weeks!
One service I use regularly is AllPlants, a frozen vegan delivery service, which are perfect for quick healthy lunches.There are also quick delivery supermarket options popping up, which promise delivery within 2 hours.
Waitrose have their Rapid service, which offers delivery via couriers Stuart in under 2 hours from order to doorstep – for the princely sum of £5. At the moment, this is a great alternative to Tesco who seem to have put their prices up. The other quick delivery option is the Co-op; they are widening their offering, but their Quickshop service delivers in under 2 hours, via courier Bringg, and best of all – free delivery. The caveat with these two is that they offer a very limited range of produce. I couldn’t get a lot of gluten free goodies, but I’ve used both services and you can definitely buy your basic fruit/veg/dairy/meat no problem. I’d be more wary of disappointment if, like me, you are coeliac and vegetarian.
So let’s just do a summary for you:
- Lola’s cupcakes (grocery) – delivery from £5.99
- Wolf & Lamb (home delivery) – free delivery (over £35)
- AllPlants – subscription service, free delivery
- Waitrose Rapid Delivery – £5
- Co-op Quickshop – free (over £15)
All services are linked, so check them out and see what you think! There are also other services like Abel and Cole and Farmshop, but I haven’t tried these during lockdown.
My dogs celebrated their birthdays.
In July, Bear turned 4 years old and Iggy turned 8. I bought them hats, bow ties and bandanas, as any doting dog parent would. Before I had the boys in my life, I never understood the people that described themselves as parents to animals – but now I realise that to really bond with your pet, you need to spend time with them. You need to train them, care for them, notice them when they want attention, feed them the right amounts, play with them. Read their body language. Teach them things. Love them. It’s very much a two-way process, and as pack leader you are pretty much acting like a parent to them. You’re damn right if they get told off at dog school I am writing a long letter of complaint to the head teacher.
In other dog news, it’ll be a whole year this month that I’ve had my little bundles of waggy joy. I know that lockdown would have been very different without their company, and I love them very much for their silly personalities. It doesn’t feel quite right that they’ve been here for a year; they feel like they’ve been here forever. Yes, they get a bit anxious and bark at other dogs, yes, they sometimes pee themselves with excitement, yes, they run up a lot of expensive vet bills – but they are my boys and I can’t tell you how much I love them.
Back to school.
September is going to be a busy one for me. I can’t quite believe I’m saying this…but I’m going back to University! I am so nervous. It’s been so long since I was in that kind of environment – what if I’ve forgotten how to write essays? I’ll be studying for a PGDip/MSc in Integrative Counselling and Coaching, working towards BACP accreditation. I’m hoping to branch out my coaching practice and support people therapeutically, maybe with a view to doing this more formally part-time. I’m so excited to get stuck in.
If September wasn’t busy enough, I’m also going to begin my training with crisis charity Shout. Shout are an amazing organisation that offer free 24/7 texting to support people in a crisis. It means I’ll be part of a team of trained volunteers in the UK helping people who are going through a tough time. It’s a few weeks of intense training, but I know it’s going to make a difference to people and it’s a much better use of my time than Netflix or scrolling mindlessly on TikTok (yes, you read that right – hit me up for dog vids) or Instagram.
Genuinely, save this number to your phone RIGHT NOW and share it with everyone who might need it: if you are ever in need of help and just want to talk to someone, text 85258 for free.
That’s all for now folks.
Here’s a few articles I’ve written recently, if you want some follow-up reading. I did a piece on unconscious bias in the workplace, and me experiences of living with body dysmorphia. Appreciate you taking the time to read all about my life, and I am sending you lots of socially-distanced hugs.
